February Funk

That's where I am.  When I cry at the drop of a hat.   When I look around and all I see is a mess, but I'm too tired to do anything about it. When I'm just generally irritable with everyone, including, if not mostly  myself. When I wish chocolate was on the list of things that I could eat, cause I think I would bury  myself under the covers with a big bag full of it.  When life just feels tough, and you just have to remember to breathe, because really it's not all that bad.  It's just a funk, and soon I see the other side.  February and I ...... we're not the best of buddies. 
BUT,  February has also brought great movement in the in food department.   So I guess we'll stay on speaking terms.   Levi is still eating broth everyday, and most often it is more than one bite, sometimes 2 or 3.  And it has been good, really good.  Easy Peasy Lemon Squeezie as Miss Maggs likes to say.  He also has had 2 bites of beef puree on separate days as well as Fish.  Oh yes people, this is working.  Today was suppose to be a bite of pork puree, but yesterday I had ground beef for dinner.   One of things I can eat.  It was from a source that I have had many times, but not my usual source from my Amish peeps.   The last few times I have noticed that he gets a little coughy and gaggy after I eat it.  Again thinking that I'm just over thinking things, I ate it again last night for dinner.  Well within 2 feeds he had a pretty rough cough.  He went from being completely fine to very croupy in 4 hours.  We spent most of the night awake, steaming him in the bathroom, to going outside to help open his airways.  He has had many ginger baths and today he seems okay.  The cough is loose.  As always, better through the day, and worse in the evenings.  I have pumped and dumped, getting the *bad* stuff out.  He still is super sensitive.  I hope this goes away with time, as his body gets the nutrients it needs and his little gut gets stronger.  It still panics me.  I know we will make it through this journey, we are on that road.  I plan to make it out stronger and braver, becoming the person God always intended me to be, but there will always be detours and pot holes.