10 000 Reasons for my heart to FIND....

I have sat to write this months post a few times.   Always finding that my heart and mind never came together to get it out right.   October has been a tough month.  An emotional one.  We have conquered some great feats, and experienced some pretty low, lows.  It has been a month that I have had to fight to not let the joy leave, taking my strength along with it.

We found out that one of Adam's closest friends was having some health issues.  We ended up loosing one of his closest buddies to a very quick and fierce battle with a rare brain tumor.  Adam Lachance or Chancy as we called him had a fantastic way of living life, making everyone around him feel important.  He was funny, sincere and a gentleman in its truest meaning.  He was one of my Adam's first friends that I met when we were dating......  there was probably a reason for that ;)  Thankfully my Adam had a chance to visit Adam in the hospital in the 2 short weeks that he was fighting the hardest.  It is a visit that is cherished.  The Wingham Boys have lost a very large part of them.  This has truly left my heart shattered.

FPIES in its medical meaning also gave a few sucker punches this month.  Levi had 2 mysterious reactions to "something".  We really aren't sure of the culprit, and cannot pinpoint it to any food.  Although they were really short lived, with him only suffering for about 45 mins, and getting "rid" of whatever it was with a few bouts of vomit.  They still can drop me to my knees in panic, moments I have to remind myself to breathe.  Admist these struggles we have had some pretty great moments.  We have conquered some major milestones.  We also have added chicken broth (which has been fed supplemental grain) and mango to Levi's ever growing menu.

 Levi is potty trained.  Our diaper days are nearly behind us!  And now for the biggest announcement,  the one I never knew when I would be able to write.  We are DONE with nursing.  That's right folks, you read it right.  This Diary Queen is closed, and although I thought it would be filled with this overwhelming excitement (believe me,  it IS there)  its just lurking in the background, I'm still fighting with the anxiety of the leaving the "safe" behind. 

Although there have been struggles and 911 calls (nothing serious, just Levi "looking" for Papa) this month, we have witnessed beauty, even if I had to really search it out some days.   So in this month of October, when we celebrate Thanksgiving,  and I look back at October 2012, I want it in hard copy the many reasons we have to be thankful.  It would be an endless task typing them all out, truly our hearts are overflowing.  FPIES really has taken on a new meaning for us.  It is a journey that I know God gifted me, although ridiculously hard, and there are many moments I mourn the loss of "normal".  It is journey that has softened my heart amidst the stress, taught me to search out the joy in hard.  Its a life I long for you all to experience and know. Gods love and grace.  His calm in the darkest storm.  Its a life that in........ "whatever may pass, and whatever lies before me.  Let me be singing when the evening comes"  (Matt Redman)