Almost a year ago I wrote this........
I stand corrected.... TWO years ago I wrote this... March of 2012.
Fear
It has taken so much. I can continue to let it take more or I can choose to believe. Believe that God is going to heal Levi. I know that to be true. The healing bit. Without a doubt in my mind. I KNOW it, but I still have a hard time releasing myself to completely rest in it. In my devotions this week, fear has been coming up a lot. I am the first to admit, I am very fearful when I feed Levi. I make a conscious note of the time. I watch the clock and when the 2 hour mark hits and he is still good, I breathe a little easier. When the 3 hour mark hits its like a wave of relief flows though me. "It is hard to walk where we can't see" is what Max Lucado wrote. (the dude who writes the devotion I read every morning) He (Max) also pointed me to the bible story of Jairus in Mark 5. Jairus' daughter was sick, on her death bed to be exact. He left her side and went to Jesus with the belief that if he could just get Jesus to just come with him, and touch his daughter, she would be healed. While Jesus and Jairus were walking to the house someone came and said his daughter had died. Here is where the story gets good ...... Jesus paid NO attention to the news. Wanna know why? Because He is the unseen. He kept walking and went into the house and healed Jairus' daughter. Jesus walks ahead of every persons "story". When we can't see, and it's hard to just keep walking, because it so dark and unknown..... Jesus is just ahead, pleading for us to just believe.
"Overhearing what they said, Jesus told him, "Don't be afraid; only believe". Mark 5:36
I have this feeling that I am suppose to come here, and continue to write. About what I am not sure, I am sure the words will come when they are suppose to.... so know that if you have come to read.... He guided you here. These words are for you. He loves you, He sees your fear. He is with you. He is ahead of you, just as He was ahead of me. He is pleading for you to believe. I knew back then He was going to heal Levi..... how I didn't know, I assumed diet. But instead I got a miracle. He restored my life. I pray everyday that I will never forget it. The glory of it. The glory of God.
Psalm 40: 2-3
2 He lifted me out of the pit of despair,
out of the mud and the mire.
He set my feet on solid ground
and steadied me as I walked along.
3 He has given me a new song to sing,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see what he has done and be amazed.
They will put their trust in the Lord.
Food no longer holds any fear in this house, and if I sometimes feel it sneaking into my soul. I fight it with truth. God's truth. Scripture. So many words He spoke of victory in Him.
Duet 20:4
For the Lord your God is going with you! He will fight for you against your enemies, and he will give you victory!
Start claiming your victory in Him..... you can't do it on your own, but He can. With Him you always win. Maybe you just have start fighting a different way. His kingdom is not about earning and deserving; its about believing and receiving.
